…can’t live without it…hard to live with it…
Rejection is inevitable. Hate to say it but ya can’t live without it. And ya can’t grow without it.
On a podcast (Guys We F****d hosted by Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson) a quote was shared that literally changed my whole perception of rejection. They discussed that with rejection comes confidence. For example, in terms of job applications men will apply to jobs even if they don’t fill all the job classifications or requirements, whereas women will not because of the fear of rejection. Therefore, as women we should put ourselves out-there more and become more comfortable with rejection. This may not apply to everyone but this sure resignated with me.
It’s like that saying practise makes perfect. Haha strange, but the more rejection you put yourself out for the easier it gets to deal with. I have had a good portion of rejection when it comes to jobs, friendships and of course, love.
Through travelling solo I gained a new level of confidence and I owe 90% of it from being rejected. I was rejected like ten times a day. Whether it be asking if I could sit beside someone for a meal or approaching someone at a bar, there were different outcomes for each.
It’s taken some time but i look at rejection as a positive, sometimes I even laugh at it because what else is there to do but laugh and move on. Two of my favourite quotes are “everything happens for a reason” and “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” so… as long as I’m taking the shots and putting myself out there then that’s all I can do… the rest is up to fate. And if it doesn’t work out then oh well… I have to remind myself that that plan wasn’t for me and something WAY better is out there for me.
If you still don’t believe that rejection is what every girl needs than here are a few personal stories on how I grew as a person from rejection.
In grade 12 I, along with many of my classmates, applied to universities. I’m just gonna say it…I got rejected to all the programs I applied to…ALL. I applied to neuropsychology programs, international business programs, and social psychology programs. You need a high averages for those programs and that I did not have one, and it completely took a blow to my grade 12 ego. I did get alternative program offers, one of them being political science which is funny because it is what I ended up minoring in. Anyway, since I didn’t get into any of the programs I ‘wanted’ I took a year off. I went back to high school for the first semester and took some classes to boost my average, one of them being Canadian Law where I learnt my interest in law (hence later minoring in political science). I worked for the second semester and went to a university that felt home(y) and in a program that I had a real interest in. My point is, if i didn’t rejected I wouldn’t have found a program that really interested me. Plus…taking that year off meant I was starting university at 19…the legal drinking age in Canada…I’m sure you can imagine how much fun I had in Residence. Also since I worked for a semester I wasn’t broke… woohoo
When I was in London on my recent trip, I went to Borough market and got an amazing bowl of Thai chicken curry. I went up to a picnic table where three people were sitting down and asked if I could sit with them… they were waiting for friends. That’s fine. So I move onto the next picnic table and ask with my Canadian kindness “may i please sit with you guys?” And they stared at me and replied with “we wait friend” … oh ok yea I get it, everyone has friends here but me, it’s fine. I keep walking and probably about 10 feet ahead and around a corner were all these benches and a busker performing songs like Maroon 5’s She Will Be Loved and She’s So High! So I sat there eating my curry being serenaded, not gonna complain, and you know what was right there too? A fresh fudge stand. Imagine if I sat with those strangers, I would have probably eaten my curry in silence and on my phone. But because of those two no’s I got to experience my favourite thing… food and buskers.
How could I talk about rejection and not mention a relationship… this happened in Munich, at Oktoberfest. (honestly make it a drinking game at this point for how many times I mention Oktoberfest throughout this blog, I’m sorry but it was a blast). My first night out in Munich, we were drinking and feasting at the Hofbrauhaus when we started talking to this group of Americans, twins from South Carolina and a guy I just referred to as Patagonia (because he was wearing a Patagonia sweater). The guys I was with started making bets on which twin I was into. We left the Hofbrauhaus, and I started talking to one of the twins on the walkover to a club. Once at the club, I started dancing with the other. I wasn’t really into either of them to be honest, the one tried to teach me how to do the charleston… at a club with a Jason Derulo song on… fun but I have two left feet and prefer to drink at the bar. So I went to the bar, got a drink, went outside to meet up with my friends and when I returned to the dance floor he was dancing with some other girl!! If I stopped there that would be a pretty bad rejection story…LOL. So I see him dancing with another girl and go back outside to find my friends, who had decided to leave but I wasn’t ready, I was at Oktoberfest (drink) for goodness sake! As I go back into the club guess who I run into… Patagonia!! And we sat outside and chatted for a really long time, convincing strange drunk people we’ve been dating for 5 years and blah blah blah. It’s finally 4:30am and the club is going to close so he walks me back to where I’m staying and we sit on the step in front of the main doors still talking…I’m trying to be flirty and give him the do you wanna come in vibe… then he puts his arm around me, kisses my forehead and says he’s gotta go back to his hotel. So I ask if he has Facebook so we can connect our two friend groups again tomorrow…he says he doesn’t use Facebook, hugs me and watches as I climb the stairs into the building and up to my room. He was still there when I peaked out the window of my room. We waved goodbye and he left. I liked that. Although this was a rejection… it was refreshing.
I hope now, if you aren’t already, you will put yourself out there and welcome rejection because it brought me onto some new adventures. Whether its school, career, relationships or just some small things like being somewhere on your own.